With the Ess-i-ness, I went through the vocal line and drop the fader to zero take out the breaths and then drop the 'S's by 7 dB. The advantage of having no plugins, is there's no comp/limiting to bring the Ess-es back up again. That's all I did.

    New version feels a lot better. Good idea to keep a reference track or two handy - in case you lose perspective. Particularly, if your setup is less than ideal.

    Watch that low mid build up after the bridge. The bass and the guitars are 'merging' I automated a high pass on the guitars to 'thin' them out a little so I could pick the bass.