Academy Dashboard Forum Production Pre-Production Review My Lyrics - "Remember"

  • This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 years ago by Phil Bicker.
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  • #63845
    Rasitha Ferdinando
    Participant

      Hi All,

      Can some of you kind folks please read this lyric and give some feedback;
      - is it okay for today (since it was written first many years ago)
      - what kind of a music genre suits it? (i.e. ballad, rock, pop. electro etc)
      - any other suggestions?

      Thank y'all! Here we go:

      Remember

      Can you remember how you looked at me and smiled
      Can you remember how you said you loved me
      But you lied
      Just because I'm just the other one that burns inside
      I’m right here, why don’t you say you are

      I can still remember that you promised to be mine
      And be together till the end of time
      You were there to me shining like winter’s pale moon
      Soft and sweet but gone all too soon
      Tell me why
      Weren’t we meant to be forever destiny
      Not like this
      Still holding on, why don’t you say you are

      Chorus:
      How I long for those days
      Nothing ever takes your place
      Girl tell me, have you really gone away
      Captivated by your charm
      How I miss you in my arms
      Girl remember, it kills me every now and then

      Can you remember how I held your lovely hand
      And whispered to your ear I'll be your man / Tangled up in awe of all those crazy master plans
      And then you left me here to wander all alone
      Looking for the place we used to call our home
      Love was the light
      Our romance was never meant to end out of sight
      In my heart you will be right there

      Chorus:
      How I long for the old days
      Nothing ever takes your place
      Girl tell me, have you really gone away
      Captivated by your charm
      How I miss you in my arms
      Girl remember, it kills me every now and then

      Deep within my heart my soul
      Memories are written in stone
      Girl tell me, will they ever fade away
      Captivated by your charm
      That empty space between my arms
      Girl remember, it’s waiting since you walked away
      Remember, it kills me every now and then

      #63916
      Paul Motion
      Participant

        Hi Rasitha, firstly I have to say I'm impressed by your bravery to post these lyrics as they obviously tell a story of heart ache and personal emotional pain. Props for being so open.
        I'm not sure I would feel comfortable making suggestions on changes to words which express so much to be honest. Regarding your questions; is it okay for today... if the lyrics reflect how you felt at the time then I don't think it matters whether they suit today's music market or not. If you speak from the heart with genuine intent and honesty, that's all that matters.

        Sorry I couldn't be of more help.

        Paul

        #63935
        Phil Bicker
        Participant

          I echo Paul's comments here - obviously very heartfelt and heartbreaking - "Yep, been there" springs to mind - have you any music/melody/style in mind? - be interested to see how it turns out

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