Hey, Mark. First of all: WELCOME to PLAP! And, thanks for the intro. Great to meet you.
I like this track. I really enjoy prog, being a young man in the 70's and all. It hangs together pretty well. Lots of things that I like about it: the interplay of the instruments. The rhythm, which is a little hard to put a finger on, and yet I found myself gently rocking to the beat - always a good sign. The bass is nice. It has quite a bit of nose, which is good for prog, in my ear anyway. The guitar work is great. I like where the lead sits. That's nicely chosen and placed. The heavier stuff on the outsides adds nice changes - new things to hear, etc. I think if this were to land on my desk, I would first spend some time on the drums. I would expect them to be a little more present in the mix. I don't know if that is volume, weight, position, all of the above or something entirely different. They just feel like they need a little bit of something to make them as strong as the guitars and the bass. I'm also not sure about the hats(?) off to the left edge. In Soundcloud, that cymbal set, whatever it is, sounds pretty trashy. I'm not sure if that's just the SoundCloud algorithm doing what it does with its downconversion, or if that's the way it really is in the track. I'd give that a once over, too, to see if I could give that a little better presence, without letting it take over.
Based on your stated goals above, I would say that you are WELL on your way to reaching that goal. Stay on it!
Lem Meador.
Mark Evertz
Lem Meador