Anyone interested in collaborating?

[Bruno KozielParticipant]

Wow! That was quick guys. I like what you guys have done. What I'll do is pull you ideas into the song and repost it. I think we'll get a better idea of how it meshes together. Awesome!

I'm just curious if there's any interested for vocals yet?

[Stephen KorstParticipant]

Hi Bruno,

Really like your song. I'm interested in doing vocals if you're still looking. Let me know.

Warm regards,
steve

[Bruno KozielParticipant]

Steve, give it your best shot. I'm very interested on your take on it. Thanks

[Stephen KorstParticipant]

Great, Bruno. How are the lyrics coming? If you have stems for downloading, I can get a demo to you.

steve

[TobiKeymaster]

I'll have a crack the lyrics today.... see what falls out of my head 😉

[Bruno KozielParticipant]

I send the stems later today

[TobiKeymaster]

Hey Kiddies!

I kept the melody the same - 'cos it's kinda awesome. Couple of technical notes:

Words in (brackets) are, what I call, 'pacing words'. The vocalist can sing / drop them as needed, depending on how they naturally pace their singing.

The vocals feel too 'wall to wall' to me. Nonstop vocals become meaningless to the listener, after a while. I've suggested moving the piano part to after the 1st chorus, as it'll help pace out the vocals better.

I love the part, but I feel the song needs to drive forward more at that point.

I've suggest recording the chorus vocals separately, as they run very close to the end of the pre chorus.

----------------------------------------------------
**LYRICS**
----------------------------------------------------

Do you know what it feels like, when you can't get up?
Do you know what it feels like, when you've had enough?
---
When you fall , to the floor , and your knees (just) break,
With the weight, of it all, (and) there's no escape,

-------
**Considering Move Piano Bit to after 1st chorus / Lyrics are too wall to wall**
--------

In darkness, when it's hopeless, (and) you need a light,
To guide you, to hold onto, to make you fight,

---------(Record chorus vocals sep)

Your voice is my light
(And) it's all I need
(And) I'll fight
For as long
As you sing to me

-----
**Consider moving the piano part here**
-----

Do you know what it feels like, when you lift me up?
Do you know what it feels like, when I feel your love?
---
(And) if you fall, from it all, I won't let you break,
From the users, (and) the fakers, I'll keep you safe,

---------
**Considering cutting piano part**
---------

In darkness, when it's hopeless, (and) you need a light,
To guide you, to hold onto, to make you fight,

---------(Record chorus vocals sep)

Your voice is my light
(And) it's all I need
(And) I'll fight
For as long
As you sing.... ...to me! (sing to me!)

-----
Your voice is my light
(And) it's all I need
(And) I'll fight
For as long
As you sing to me

-------------------------------

I tried to keep the lyrics in keeping with the feel and style of the song. Always hard to tell right away, but I'm pretty pleased with them 🙂

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Tobi.

[Bruno KozielParticipant]

Hey Guys, Here are the stems for the song.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/zd8ys8a4fmjwxd8/AAA1UpYvN3SMG034b5Zv2Z8ea?dl=0

[Len BairdParticipant]

https://www.dropbox.com/s/yc4b5264mhlafle/BASS%20EDGE%20-%20Bass%20edge%204.wav?dl=0

More usable fretless JBass part.

[TobiKeymaster]

On second listening with fresh ears... I'd say you could keep the structure of the song as is, and feature the piano more in an instrumental break before the pre-chorus.

Feedback on the lyrics would be nice 😉

...if you could avoid phrases like, 'Well if you give a monkey a typewriter...', I'd appreciate it 🙂

[TobiKeymaster]

Simplified to make it easier to follow........

----------------------------------------------------
**LYRICS**
----------------------------------------------------

Verse 1

Do you know what it feels like, when you can't get up?
Do you know what it feels like, when you've had enough?
---
When you fall , to the floor , and your knees (just) break,
With the weight, of it all, (and) there's no escape,

-------
**Piano Break**
--------

Pre Chorus 1

In darkness, when it's hopeless, (and) you need a light,
To guide you, to hold onto, to make you fight,

Chorus 1

Your voice is my light
(And) it's all I need
(And) I'll fight
For as long
As you sing to me

Verse 2

Do you know what it feels like, when you lift me up?
Do you know what it feels like, when I feel your love?
---
(And) if you fall, from it all, I won't let you break,
From the users, (and) the fakers, I'll keep you safe,

---------
**Piano Break**
---------

Pre Chorus 2

In darkness, when it's hopeless, (and) you need a light,
To guide you, to hold onto, to make you fight,

Chorus 2

Your voice is my light
(And) it's all I need
(And) I'll fight
For as long
As you sing.... ...to me! (sing to me!)

Chorus 3

Your voice is my light
(And) it's all I need
(And) I'll fight
For as long
As you sing to me

-------------------------------

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Tobi.

[Stephen KorstParticipant]

Tobi,

Thanks for writing lyrics. I've got a few days off from work after today, when I can work with what you've got and the stems from Bruno. Bruno, I've got the song without lyrics and the demo on my iPod to listen to. Really like the recorded tracks you made.

steve

[Author]

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