@Frozn, great job here.
A couple of comments
- your lead vocals are WAY in front and dry. A little "ess"-y. And the low double is a bit too up front too. Because the timing of the performance really wasn't that great, in my opinion, it has to be buried much lower. It actually also reveals the pitch imperfections too. Everyone has their own style but I'd strongly consider some ambient space effects on the vocal (in parallel). Not as much as you've got on the harmony vocals, but maybe 20% of the verb and 2-3 slap echos? If you want to keep that really out-front sound, use side-chain compression to put some squash on the effects. Another "sanity check" would be to turn off the drums and crush your mix to death on the master bus with a fairly slow release and listen how there's a sense of a seamless transition throughout for the listener to always find something new to listen to without massive volume jumps. That can provide a helpful guide.
This idea is based on Andrew Schepps' "Back-bus compression" technique. Send everything except the drums to a separate channel and crush the hell out of it and then blend in a dose of this into your mix. Schepps has joked that by using this method, he can get away without using automation (which of course isn't true, but it does allow more modest amounts).
- You might consider referencing the volume of the guitar solo for how loud the lead vocals are?
- I think that the job you did of the music is really quite good, but the vocals are so much in front, the listener is shocked (and will turn down the volume) once the vocals come in.
- at the beginning of the track there are some noises (the abrasive slide into the bass part that you might look to clean up). The drum room/ambient mics also add some clutter that you might want to dial back until the full band is in. The room sounds move the drums away from the listener and therefore saps some energy when it's just them and the swirly guitar (which is a great time for them to be dominating the mix).
- thinking about your comment on dark sounds - when there are no vocals, you might choose to give your swirly guitars a little more air to keep the listener something to focus on.
I hope the feedback is constructive! Best of luck in the contest!