Academy Dashboard Forum Collaboration - Competition Member Collaborations Anyone interested in collaborating? Reply To: Anyone interested in collaborating?

#23349
Tobi
Keymaster

    Hey Kiddies!

    I kept the melody the same - 'cos it's kinda awesome. Couple of technical notes:

    Words in (brackets) are, what I call, 'pacing words'. The vocalist can sing / drop them as needed, depending on how they naturally pace their singing.

    The vocals feel too 'wall to wall' to me. Nonstop vocals become meaningless to the listener, after a while. I've suggested moving the piano part to after the 1st chorus, as it'll help pace out the vocals better.

    I love the part, but I feel the song needs to drive forward more at that point.

    I've suggest recording the chorus vocals separately, as they run very close to the end of the pre chorus.

    ----------------------------------------------------
    **LYRICS**
    ----------------------------------------------------

    Do you know what it feels like, when you can't get up?
    Do you know what it feels like, when you've had enough?
    ---
    When you fall , to the floor , and your knees (just) break,
    With the weight, of it all, (and) there's no escape,

    -------
    **Considering Move Piano Bit to after 1st chorus / Lyrics are too wall to wall**
    --------

    In darkness, when it's hopeless, (and) you need a light,
    To guide you, to hold onto, to make you fight,

    ---------(Record chorus vocals sep)

    Your voice is my light
    (And) it's all I need
    (And) I'll fight
    For as long
    As you sing to me

    -----
    **Consider moving the piano part here**
    -----

    Do you know what it feels like, when you lift me up?
    Do you know what it feels like, when I feel your love?
    ---
    (And) if you fall, from it all, I won't let you break,
    From the users, (and) the fakers, I'll keep you safe,

    ---------
    **Considering cutting piano part**
    ---------

    In darkness, when it's hopeless, (and) you need a light,
    To guide you, to hold onto, to make you fight,

    ---------(Record chorus vocals sep)

    Your voice is my light
    (And) it's all I need
    (And) I'll fight
    For as long
    As you sing.... ...to me! (sing to me!)

    -----
    Your voice is my light
    (And) it's all I need
    (And) I'll fight
    For as long
    As you sing to me

    -------------------------------

    I tried to keep the lyrics in keeping with the feel and style of the song. Always hard to tell right away, but I'm pretty pleased with them 🙂

    • This reply was modified 7 years ago by Tobi.