Tim Morris

    The good - you wrote a song !...recorded it and posted it, that in itself is a great start.

    The Critique ( and Im no expert)....the opening 4 bars didn't grab me, and its too long.

    The Piano is to " programmed" not very natural at all, and the sound is a little light.

    As mentioned, try and thin the vocals out a bit, let some musical melody in.

    Just my opinion after a first listen.

    Keep at it !