Tobi
Once it gets going, the song comes to life... the intro / first verse don't really work for me yet.
Your voice feels a lot better when you're going for it more in the choruses. Perhaps trying standing slightly further back from the mic during the first verse? Feels like the mic proximity isn't helping your voice.
The lyrics are a touch unrelenting... they just keep on coming. Maybe leave some space for the music to breathe. I like a lot of the lyrical work and I love that fact you're singing about something real and important.
Not totally convinced by all the instrumentation. I think the broad strokes are all there. The underlying chord pattern of the song is working, as are most of the choices of instrument. ...but I'm not sure about the piano - it's very thin and synthetic sounding. It also sounds a little phasey, seems to drop in and out. Some of the string arrangement works well, but some of it feels heavy handed.
I think you've got a very good song there... your voice is great and the overall build and effect of the song is working really well. ....it just needs a little more room to breathe and quite a bit more work on the instruments.
What Virtual Instruments are you using?
Mix wise, it sounds like a demo. It's fine. There's a lot of mixing that could be done to really help bring out and show off the genuine quality of the song.
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This reply was modified 7 years ago by
Tobi.